Is Survival Mode the New Normal?

Is Survival Mode the New Normal?

I really hope not, but it sure does feel that way sometimes doesn’t it? I don’t know about you, but just when we seem to get into some semblance of a routine that feels comfortable, a curve ball comes our way. Recovering from the virus has taken a lot longer than I wanted, which is SUPER annoying and frustrating. I have dreams of living my best quarantine life, but I’m not physically able to at this point. I was going to clean and declutter all the things. I was going to spend my afternoons getting lost in a great book. I was going to cook new recipes, including perfecting my favorite French macarons. I was going to blog three times a week and post content to Instagram every day. I was going to tackle my kid’s picky eating, and we were going to be loving vegetables in no time. Oh, the plans I had!!

But here’s the thing, friend. None of us have been through a pandemic before. None of us have been in a situation where we’ve had extensive shelter in place orders to follow. We are all going through a collective traumatic experience. There is no play book for this. So, I think it’s vital we give ourselves grace. It’s also vital that we extend that grace to others. It seems to be so common for people to experience good days and hard days. Happy days and sad days. Productive days and lazy days. And that’s okay!

But living in “survival mode” mentality is, quite frankly, exhausting. So, what are we to do? I think the first thing we can do is actively acknowledge that this is hard. Take some deep breaths and just sit with that for a moment. The second thing I think we can do is establish some self care routines, not only for ourselves, but also our partners and children. For example, last week I decided Friday mornings would be my husband’s time for himself. He will go for a long drive, catch up with friends over the phone, or finish up work from the week. The key is that he is off duty as husband and dad for those few hours, and it fills him up so well! He comes back refreshed and revived. Self care for our kids has been interesting. They are young (7, 5, and 2), so like my entire life is caring for them, ha. But, I have bought them more of their favorite snacks since quarantine started. Who doesn’t love comfort food? I also check in with my older 2 kids and really ask them how they are doing with having to stay at home and not see their friends. We have been able to have some really good talks about our feelings, and they feel supported and heard when I tell them that sometimes I am sad too. We make sure they spend time outside at every opportunity when the weather allows it. For me, self care has looked different depending on how I am feeling since I am still healing from covid19. When I was spending a lot of time in bed, I shopped online for a few spring wardrobe additions because it helped me remember that brighter days will come. Now that I am up and about more, I like to go for a quick 20 minute drives a few times a week and blast really the music (…in my minivan, haha!). Whatever self care looks like for you, do it. Because you know what self care really is? It’s a way for us to take care of our mental health, and that is valid and important. You have permission to do what you need to do to recharge and take care of your mental health, mama. It’s true that you might have to get creative with self care, especially if you’re more extroverted. Maybe it’s a zoom coffee date or cocktail hour with your friends. Maybe it’s going on a walk or trying out a new exercise video. Maybe it’s crafting or reading or painting. Whatever it is, you do you mama, because you are worth it!

It's a New World

It's a New World

WOW! My intention was to write more often than I have, but it seems like the entire world has changed in just the last 10 days. Everything is canceled. All the things. We are having to adjust being at home at.all.times. This has been hard, even for me, a self identified introvert! Our best laid plans have been thrown out the window.

How are you handling it all? If you’re like me, you’re having good moments and hard moments. Good days and bad days. Days where you think, “I’ve got this!”. And other days where the enormity of the uncertainty feels so overwhelming. So, what are we to do?

There is no shortage of advice on how to fill your time at home. Countless companies are offering free resources. You can easily pull up hundreds of options on Google. To me, it’s too much. I do not have the mental capacity to sort through everything. My advice is to start small. Start with implementing and STICKING WITH an attainable daily routine. Have different routines for your weekdays and weekends. Also, get dressed. I read a quote that said, “Flannel starts to feel like depression after about 3 days.” It’s so true. I am used to wearing make up every day. When I don’t, I feel lazy and unmotivated. So, I’ve been wearing my typical make up almost every day. It has really helped my mentality in approaching the day. Below is the weekday we are using in our family (2 parents at home barely working with 3 kids):

*8:30-9:15 (this is the only time we go by the clock): Every one gets dressed

*Homeschool my two older girls, while hubby take the toddler upstairs for some gross motor play

*Morning snack/break from school

*Finish school while toddler does a puzzle (or some other simple activity)

*Lunch

*Nap/Quiet time

*Afternoon snack while watching TV

*Get out of the house in some way (play outside, go for a walk, take a drive)

*Follow typical night time routine of dinner, baths, after dinner snack, and bed

I hope this helps bring a little intentionality to your day. We’ve been following this routine for about 4 days now, and every day it feels a little more normal. We can do this. We ARE doing it!